The Power Dynamic

Master. Slave. The ultimate in one person having power over another. Lots of ugly connotations, especially when the power is taken by force. But what if it’s given by choice? And why would anyone, male or female, want to give up that kind of power?

Dominance/Submission. Less drastic. But still…What toll does it take on the one in charge? Is submission the same as being a doormat? If someone doesn’t understand the dynamic, it can be. Are relationships that have a HOH (head of household), or a domestic discipline agreement dominant and submissive? Probably.

Equal partnerships. Do they really exist all the time? Or is there an underlying agreement? I’ll be dominant here…you can be dominant there… Conflict will occur when we both want to dominate. It’s even worse when no one wants to be in charge.

In my work in progress, the heroine has allowed herself to be a doormat in her family of origin. It’s her mother who’s in charge. Her father is self-effacing. Lisa has learned how to stay out of the way.

But how does she draw the line when she begins to explore the world of dominance and submission? You see, a submissive is a very powerful role, even though it doesn’t seem like it could be. He or she has to be strong to know how much they can bear and to know what they are getting in return. Respect is required on both sides.

Doormats and bullies aren’t welcome.

Good stories always involve give and take between characters. The joy of reading is watching the negotiation in progress. What will each person need to learn to give up in order to get what they want?

I know in my own relationship, there are times I need to remind myself that if I can give up a little more control, there will be a bit more ease and joy in my life.

Dominance….submission….how is it played out in your relationship?

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Trillium is an author of BDSM-oriented erotic romance. You can find her on Twitter, Goodreads and at her website: http://www.trillium-author.com

Look for Trillium’s story Ali’s Choice in the up coming anthology Touch of Love.