Sex and Love

Is it true u can have sex without love? Well yeah. Any one can shut off their emotions and just fuck. People have been doing that for hundreds of years. That why there r arranged marriages and people have affairs. So what are they looking for do u think? Maybe they need someone to hold them? Someone to make them feel beautiful or handsome? Maybe they r just trying to procreate? Makes u wonder doesn’t it? If u had an affair what would ur reasons be? Are they strong enough to invoke u to take that final step and not look back? People do it all the time.

As for me I don’t think I could. I’m pretty happy in general and consider myself a positive person. Beside Karma would more than likely bite my ass and I’d end up on the receiving end of a divorce. So what do u do? Find some way that makes u attractive? Find someway that will turn u on? Maybe ur doing it wrong? Try a different position. By the Kama Sutra. Get kinky. There is a lot of information on the Internet about kink and website that can help. Try tumblr. There r sex blogs on there as far as the eye can see. And what about kink? Kink is usually the thing that pushes ur comfort zone the most. Some people like to be Daddy’s girl, or kitties or dress up in leather and be chained. Would u consider it of it meant saving ur relationship? Would u be open to the option of involving others? Just some things to think about this lovely Sunday Morning.

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History of Valentines with R. Ann Siracusa

WILL THE REAL SAINT VALENTINE PLEASE STAND UP?
Finding out about the origins of our holidays and celebrations can sometimes be a real buzz-kill. So often they turn out to be something different that we’ve always believed or been taught.

Still, it doesn’t hurt to be informed, and that doesn’t need to spoil the holiday for you. I find that in ways adults are just like children: If they want to believe something, they believe it, no matter what you tell them or how convincing your proof is.

So just keep on believing that Valentine’s Day is all about romance, love, and fealty.

Earliest Link
In the ancient Greek calendar, mid-January to mid-February was the month of Gamelion, dedicated to the sacred marriage of the god Zeus and the goddess Hera. That appears to be the earliest link to February festivals.

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Lupercalia
Yup. We’re back to the Romans again. Lupercalia, an archaic rite connected to fertility and local to the city of Rome, was celebrated February 13 thru 15. The more general Roman celebration was called Juno Februa (“Juno the Purifier” or “The Chaste Juno”), February 13 and 14.

It appears that the purpose of the festival and the rituals are a bit obscured by time, but one historian describes the rite in the following manner:

“Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide.

Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.”

Some historians, including Noel Lenski, University of Colorado at Boulder, depict the rites as a bit more brutal than “gently slapping” and indicate the pairing was only for the duration of the festival, not a year, although sometimes the couplings lasted for longer. I guess this is where the idea of “love” and “romance” comes from.

Although the festival survived the rise of Christianity, around the end of the fifth century Pope Gelasius I determined to put an end to this eight-hundred-year-old practice of Lupercalia. The Roman Catholic fathers eventually found a likely candidate to replace the pagan deities, a priest who had been martyred on February 14, 269 A.D. The Pope outlawed Lupercalia as “unchristian” and replaced it with a celebration honoring the martyr St. Valentine.

Combining Lupercalia with St. Valentine’s Day apparently toned down the pagan festival, but Lenski adds, “It was a little more of a drunken revel, but the Christians put clothes back on it. That didn’t stop it from being a day of fertility and love.”

Who was St. Valentine?
Good question. That’s not too clear, either, but historians agree there was nothing romantic in any of the histories of the three early Christian martyrs (recognized saints) named Valentine (Valentinus). To complicate things, two of the Saint Valentines were executed on February 14 but in different years of the third century.

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● Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelit Church in Dublin, Ireland. Not much else about him is documented, and what we know for sure isn’t very romantic.

The legend, however, spices it up, telling us that when Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families and, therefore, outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine defied the Emperor’s decree and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When this was discovered, he was put to death on February 14, 269 (Some sources say the year 270 or 273 A.D.).

Some references indicate that Valentine’s cause to unite lovers with holy vows of matrimony landed him in prison, which is likely to be true. During his incarceration, he struck up a friendship with the blind daughter of his jailer, Asterius. (In one version of the legend, he miraculously restored her sight). Supposedly, they exchanged love letters and on the day of his execution (February 14th, 269 A.D.), he left a final letter for his love and signed it “From your Valentine.”

Still another variation recounts that Claudius took a liking to this prisoner – until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor to Christianity – whereupon he condemned the priest to death. Valentine was beaten with clubs and stoned. When that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate.

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● Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae) was bishop of Interamna (Modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian.

He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni. There doesn’t seem to be much more known about him.

● A third saint named Valentine is mentioned in the Catholic Encyclopedia, also executed on the date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa, along with companions, but nothing else is known about him, either.

When did February 14 become associated with romance and love?
Again, the real history is fuzzy. After Pope Gelasius I did away with Lupercalia, young Roman men instituted the custom of offering greetings of affection to the women they wanted court on February 14. These cards soon acquired St. Valentine’s name.

By the Middles Ages, Christianity and the Saint Valentine legends had spread throughout Europe. Valentine was revered as one of the most popular Saints in England and France. It appears that the first written reference to Valentine’s Day in the romantic sense, is a poem in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer, to honor the engagement of King Richard II to Anne of Bohemia.

“For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.”

["For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."]

The treaty providing for the marriage was signed May 2, 1381, and Richard and Anne were married eight months later. (Both of them were only fifteen at the time). While many assumed Chaucer meant February 14 in his reference to Valentine’s Day, in fact, in the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saint’s day for St. Valentine, the bishop of Genoa who died around 307 A.D. Not too many birds mate in February.

On February 14, 1400, Paris established a “High Court of Love” which addressed love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. I only found one reference to this and couldn’t find out more about it or its significance.

The earliest surviving valentine card, as we know it, was written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife. It now resides in the British Library in London.

Je suis desja d’amour tanné
Ma tres doulce Valentinée…
—Charles d’Orléans, Rondeau VI, lines 1–2

Not many years later, King Henry V hired writer John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

Shakespeare mentions Valentine’s Day in Hamlet (1600-1601).

In the sixteenth century, the Bishop of Geneva, St. Francis de Sales, tried to get rid of the custom of Valentine’s Day cards and failed. Their popularity grew and they became decorated with naked Cupids armed with arrows dipped in love potion.

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In North America, people began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s, and in 1840, artist Esther A. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, began selling the first mass-produced valentines in the United States.

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And the rest is history. Well, actually, it’s all history.

Stop by and see Ann at her blog!

References

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day

http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

http://www.ehow.com/about_4759730_origin-valentines-day.html

http://grove.ufl.edu/~leo/val.html

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day

Single with Virgina Nelson

“So when are you going to start dating? I mean, you don’t plan on being single forever do you?”

There it is. That dirty word. No one seems to want that title stuck to them. “Single.” It is like cursing. But worse.
And to be single on Valentine’s Day… some people look at me as horrified as if I had suggested I was going to start feeding my kids dirt because I felt it was all natural.

Why do we as a society feel that to be happy on Valentine’s Day, we have to be part of a couple?

“Well, who is going to buy you chocolates? Don’t you want to be with someone? Settle down…”

Personally, I don’t think I could get more settled down. I am a single mom of three wonderful kids. We live a very full and rich life. We have lived in the same place for three years now because it fits us nicely financially, geographically and physically. I write books for a living. Not a bad life.

“But you are all alone…”
Who the hell is this person and where do they come up with these questions? No, really, I am not all alone. My holiday is not made somehow worse because I am not slapping down $100 for a meal, $60 for flowers, and $40 for chocolates. Nor is it worse because someone else isn’t wasting that money on me. My kids tend to make me lovely paper valentines (my favorite being from one of my sons who, at a younger age, proclaimed they loved me because I didn’t suck.) I have friends.

But for some reason, this holiday is dressed in as much depressed wailing from the single folk as it is in Hallmark/Hershey glee.
Writing this blog isn’t going to convince anyone (especially my mother) that being single on Valentine’s Day is okay. It isn’t going to change the fact that hundreds are going to be spent on candies and cards sentimentalizing how much devotion can be found in a chocolate truffle. It isn’t going to stop this from being a great day to propose.

But I just wanted to point out that if your friends ARE single, the holiday isn’t necessarily the huge downer you think it is. Condolences are not needed, nor in some cases welcome as we don’t all feel like we are in a bad situation. Also, consider buying some condoms. I mean… a thousand years ago, it was a celebration of fertility.

You can have the fertility. I’m gonna stick with chocolates and cards from my kids. Thanks. ;)
Virg

http://virginianelson.blogspot.com

http://virginianelson.webs.com

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Virginia Nelson is an author and editor and her newest release, Lips of Velvet, a f/f erotic, is scheduled for release with Rebel Ink Press in May of 2012.

Blurb: Bookworm Sandra is dragged out for a night on the town by her sister. When she meets the sexy and exotic Lucy, she is instantly attracted to her. But will their spontaneous combustion burn out as quickly as it ignites or will it lead to a long term flame?

Lucy can’t help but be drawn in by Sandra’s intelligent and fun nature. But when Sandra suggests that she was just using Lucy for sex, Lucy is a strong enough woman to hide her broken heart and walk away. A chance meeting brings them back together.

Will Lucy seek revenge for a moment of stupidity?

Sin-sational Saturday!

Did u ever just want to do something u knew u shouldn’t?? Things the bible or ur parents told u was wrong or a sin? Sometimes we are all tempted to take those steps into the forbidden world. I myself have been there a time or two. But who is anyone to tell u what is forbidden or taboo? Are they really correct or has that just become the accepted way things are. A mild example is tattoos and piercings. I have 5 tattoos. Some very large and some small.

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That’s Joe Lucero working on my tat of my family tree. He’s a damn genius with ink. Check out his website
I have a tattoo on my right leg of a Phoenix fairy rising from the flames and ash. My bro drew it and subsequently my daughter drew the tree. The Phoenix represents me growing and rising above my former self. The tree is my immediate family. The bat on my neck represents me and reminds me of who I am. The triad represenst my relationship with my hubby, loyalty respect and trust. The tramp stamp tribal art was when I was young and thin and ready to conquer the world. Although they have all come at different times in my life they all have significant meaning and are memories. My body is a blank canvas that I can’t wait to fill. U say yuck I say ink is art. I have three smallish gaged piercings in my ears. Two in the right and one in the left. Why are they gaged? Because I like them, not because they are the current cool trend. They look like hoop earrings.

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But who am I to judge u if u pierce your nose or clit or lip? It’s ur body decorate it however u like despite public opinion. If my daughter shaved her hair off she’d still be the beautiful person I know now. Just because people don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s a sin or taboo. The world has become a really strange place in the modern era. Some for the good, some for the bad. Such as, no one wants a 13 year old getting pregnant, but it happens just the same. After that path has happened all we can do is support and help her. If a teenage boy says he’s gay in this day and age he’s being bullied and turned on?? WTF? Why? We as a people need to support each other with love and kindness. I am so sick of people who preach Christianity then turn around and preach hate. God is not hate people! He is love!! Always has been and his son Jesus was love incarnated. He died so u can treat each other like shit and be forgiven for it?? That’s crap. I would rather think he died so I could live me life in joy and peace. What about you?

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Why Write Gay Paranormal

It occurred to me many people may be wondering why do I write hetero paranormal and gay paranormal. Today I thought I would give you the run down.

First, when you write you must write about what you like, what interests you and take into account what will sale. A lot of authors believe if you write for the market you could soon be dead in the water. I don’t believe this is true. I think that if you make an effort to see what your market is, who your readers are and what they want to read you will be better able to develop a readership and a positive relationship with your readers. I love the paranormal and am fascinated by vampires and were creatures. I have loved vampires since the Count on sesame street.

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Since then I have read Anne Rice, JR Ward, Susan Squires, Christine Feehan and Susan Sizemore and anyone else I can find. I have read thousands of books that do with vampires and hundreds that deal with were creatures. I enjoy these authors and others immensely and highly recommend them if your looking for new reads. It’s called research. You must know what you are up against. Even in ebooks.

Second, I write Hetero sex because it’s what I know. I’ve been married 17 years and started dating and having sex three years before that. I’ve tried everything within reason from BDSM to missionary. It occurs to me, however, as long as you have a resource with experience you do not have to have the personal experience if you have done your research.

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Third, and a however, you must be careful. I wrote a book called Bound by Darkness. This is not a paranormal romance. It is a paranormal horror that contains two really evil bad guys that tweak BDSM and use it in a not nice way. This book has received high reviews, a top pick review from Night Owl Reviews, a 4.5 from Romance Junkies and a 4 from Coffee Time Romance, but it hasn’t sold so well because the BDSM is not used in a loving, traditional way and was marketed as paranormal romance.
The lesson here is be careful how you advertise.

Fourth, gay paranormal romance.

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I write Gay paranormal romance because it fascinates me. I love the dynamic of the relationship, the things you can do with the paranormal creatures and the worlds you can build.

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I am a big supporter or GLBT rights. They are the same as everyone else and need to be treated equally, honestly, is it 1950?? The fact that the government is getting involved in the bedroom is just absurd. It’s about Love people not hate, wake up! As out as some people are there is still a huge amount if GLBT individuals that are in the closet or terrified to come out because of the bullying and abuse that has become prevalent and associated with this way of life and, by the way, you are born this way. I wrote gay romance to support my fellow man, woman and everyone in between. Please stop the inequality and bullying.

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Last, I think that being open to alternative lifestyles can open your mind to new worlds, cultures and issues that surround them. Teach your kids love and happiness, not hate. Families are what we make them, not what we perceive as the norm. What is normal anyway? Socially acceptability is bullshit. Be yourself, live free and happy.

Enduring

I had a thought today I would like to share. It’s about enduring. Staying power if you will. I have been through quite a bit in my life. Struggling through new jobs that paid very little, a few bad Christmas’ that I had little to give. Always my constants have been my husband and family. I have learned that I can endure. I have seen people around me endure life, poverty, deaths, births, illness, mental illness and everything in between and as it comes up on this new year it occurs to me that this is not just my spirit, this is the human spirit. The ability to continue to endure when all odds are against you is the one thing that will never allow me to give up hope as I live my life to the best of my ability. I have tears in my eyes as I realize how grateful I am for what I have and what I can have. Happy New Year my darlings!

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Thursday Pets

I have lost total track of my week. Just a note be aware that sometimes I repost amazing blogs to support my fellow authors. When I do this and they are running a contest you have to go to that blog not mine. Sorry, I hope that doesn’t cause any problems.

So today I want to talk about my pets. I have two. Jack the Beagle.

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And Colby Dolby.

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They are like my babies, two year old toddlers that I didn’t give birth too. They have very unique personalities and attitudes. Jack is calm, smiles, sleeps a lot, loves walks and will eat anything but hard pretzels. Colbs will play and run and loves to chew on his tiny teddy. He’s a snuggle bunny and will check on you if he knows you feel yucky. And he can hear cheese. It’s bizarre. He also love walks, but will yell and complain if you go to far. He has little legs.

When we come home Colby yells at us until we get down and give him love and hugs, while Jack will just jump on his back feet like he can walk. They both love human food and smile. They SMILE it’s hilarious. And of course Colb thinks he’s big and neither one know they are dogs. And today I am thankful for them. I was very not feeling good today and my Colbs came and snuggled under the covers with me while Jack guarded me from the ottoman. They were great and I was so happy to have them today. When I’m down I remember them an look at their silly pictures and laugh.

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Love on Tuesday

What is love and how far can it stretch? That is today’s question and I will be talking about three different types of love.

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First and foremost is a mother’s love. The love I have for my children was instant and full blown the minute I saw each of them. And each time I thought “how did I live without this little person in my life, they are my world.” Literally from one moment to the next I fell in love, earth shattering, ground moving, reality changing love. To this day, I would die for my children and until I meet the grave I would move heaven and hell if necessary for them. They are my lights and the greatest blessing I totally never deserved. So I ask you how can any woman or man worth their salt not feel love for their child? Anyway, anywhere it is a shot as bright as the sun into your life until you are blinded by it. When they are little bitty you must do everything to care for and protect them. As they grow you teach them the things they need to know to live, to survive, and grow. You help them and guide them to becoming the person you want them to be. You pray and hope and cry and cuss as they frustrate the hell out of you. You nurse them through sickness and enjoy the good times. When they are teenagers you do more cussing and praying hoping that you have instilled in them the morals and the values the need to be adults.

Next I want to talk about my love for my husband.

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He is the butter on my bread, the light in my dark night. He is there through thick and thin, caring for me when I am ill or exhausted. He is my coach, my counselor, my best friend and my life would not be the same without him. I have grown with him, learned to love from him and endured for him and I would again and again and again, for infinity. I would die for him.

Next my other love.

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I have love that is wider than the ocean and bigger than the sky. It encompasses my BFFs, my friends, my family. When they hurt, I hurt, when they laugh, I laugh. This love is huge and stretches to accommodate an every increasing number of people as my circle widens and changes. Should I stop this love or change it? Should I condense or limit it? I don’t think so. That’s not who I am. I am a person of love, of heart, of feeling, even though that may get me hurt emotionally in the end.